September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
June 2002
May 2002
April 2002
March 2002
February 2002
January 2002
December 2001
November 2001
October 2001
September 2001
August 2001
July 2001
June 2001
May 2001
April 2001
March 2001
February 2001
January 2001
December 2000
November 2000
August 2000
July 2000
May 2000
April 2000
March 2000
February 2000
January 2000
December 1999
November 1999
October 1999
September 1999
August 1999
« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

October 20, 2004
midnight pajama jam

I once told an ex-boyfriend that if I was somehow able to woo H. Jon Benjamin, voice of Ben on Dr. Katz and of Jason and Coach McGuirk on Home Movies, our relationship would have to change in ways he might not like. That guy is an ex-boyfriend now because I was able to woo H. Jon Benjamin and now we are living together and it is great!

That's not true, sorry (sorry for me). But last night, Andy and I each paid five dollars to see Mr. Benjamin host a silly talk show-esque show called Midnight Pajama Jam at The Marquee Theater on the Bowery. It's part of an NBC-sponsored "performance and development lab," where actors and writers and comedians can hone their talent in front of live, forgiving audiences.

Honestly, the show was pretty funny and was well worth our five dollars, even though I had a weird encounter with the bartender:

Me: I'll have a Stella. (I take out a ten from my wallet.)
Bar: It's five dollars.
Me: Okay. (I try to hand him my ten.)
Bar: It's five.
Me: Yeah. (I again attempt to give him the ten, but he doesn't move.) What?
Bar: It's five.
Me: Yeah, all I have is a ten. (I hesitantly draw back my ten, thinking maybe the alcohol was free with admission?)
Bar: But it's five dollars.
Me: I'm really confused right now.
Bar: Okay, the beer is five dollars. I can make change if you want.
Me: Yeah, that's what I want.

Andy suggested that maybe he thought I was trying to tip him 100 percent. Absurd!

The show was (and regularly is) hosted by Jon and another guy who plays two puppets. Alas, description cannot convey adequately the humor we experienced, so I'll just say it's not a bad thing to do on a Tuesday night, if you have nothing better to do.

Anyway, dude. H. Jon Benjamin was like five feet away from me. But you know, I didn't get a rush or anything like I got when I was 16 and saw Beck from the front row of the third stage at Lollapalooza. I'm so above that kind of famous-person adoration, now that I'm also famous.

File under IN THE CITY. Posted at 10:28 AM

October 19, 2004
why, even dracula will be there!

What should I be for Halloween this year? I want comments, everybody. Help me out. Please. If I don't get any comments on this one I'm going to feel totally pathetic. You may not care, but I totally don't like feeling totally pathetic!

You can also tell me what you're going to be.

Thank you.

Okay, more.

Things I want to be but which are too hard/no one would "get":
- Samus from Metroid (too hard)
- Daphne from Scooby Doo (too hard)
- Nancy Drew (no one'd get)

Also, suggestions for Andy would be appreciated, also.

File under DAILY. Posted at 11:10 AM | Comments (5)

October 16, 2004
older and lamer, daily


  1. pumpkin beer, a newfound seasonal delight

  2. how quickly I seem to arrive at my destination when I'm reading a book on the subway

  3. a good pair of jeans

  4. some yellow-green hues that most people find unappealing

  5. reading out loud

  6. most Hall and Oates songs

  7. watching people play video games

  8. online banking and bill-paying


  1. the mistake-laden self-made painting on my bedroom wall

  2. the sounds flutes make, usually

  3. anchovies (I just tried these for the first time on Thursday—now I understand the classic "hold the anchovies" line!)

  4. shoes that hurt my feet but that I wear because they just go so well with what I'm wearing, or rather, the impulse that forces me to wear them

  5. posters featuring animals or hot air balloons

File under DAILY. Posted at 08:26 PM

October 10, 2004
orange and blue

October is an undeniably pretty month, even in the city, where, in the absence of trees turning orange and yellow everywhere, the air swirls around in its own colorful way, reminding us that life amid dying leaves (or amid cement and brick) can be fresh and crisp. Infused with a slight chill, scents smell stronger, and colors seem suddenly more vibrant than they did in the recent golden-hued, slow-to-pass summer. It is my favorite time of year, and I want to buy new clothes to celebrate.

On Friday, Chris and I went to Mugs for a quick dinner before heading out to Queens to go to the opening of Chris B.'s exhibition of impressive seasonal works. I might have a general distaste for Queens, but one thing I can say in its favor is that I've gotten away with drinking in public there on two separate occasions. After the opening we headed over to the Beer Garden, which is another nice thing Queens offers its residents and visitors. It was a good time, but I was feeling cranky for no real reason and dragged Chris home kind of early.

My moodiness extended to Saturday. Bed seemed the most reasonable and welcoming place to be, so I spent much of my time lying under the covers, glad not to have to be talking to anyone. In addition to letting my mind wander, I organized my site some and finished David Sedaris' Me Talk Pretty One Day, which everyone else read two or three years ago. His essays were cute, and I think I could learn something by studying his structure.

This morning, I was ready to be social again, and Andy and I met Andy's friend Adam for brunch in the East Village. We ended up at Cafe Orlin, where the service wasn't so good but the overall experience was. Afterward, Adam left to meet a friend and we headed over to Barnes & Noble to pick up a PHP book for me. Then we sat in a small park and read the first chapter of C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity, watched pigeons, and talked about life.

File under DAILY. Posted at 04:35 PM

October 06, 2004

Today I realized that I always say "double-check" to mean "check once, for the first time." Also, lately, I've been saying "blah blah blah" a lot at the end of my sentences, often with no purpose. "And then I did some more work, and then my Mom called and we talked for awhile, blah blah blah." And I still tack on "or something" too often, e.g., "I think they went to a bar or something."

Have I written about this before? I don't know. I'll have to double-check.

Har har! Ugh.

File under DAILY. Posted at 02:11 PM

October 04, 2004
books from 25
It's sort of a paltry showing, I suppose: 11 books finished in a year, one of which is a graphic novel. Though it may not seem so from this list, my 26th year of life was a period of reawakening when it came to literature, and I look forward to all the books I have yet to read.

Books I Definitely Read All The Way
Title Author
The Voyeur Alain Robbes-Grillet
The Marble Faun Nathaniel Hawthorne
Caricature Daniel Clowes
The Virgin Suicides Jeffrey Eugenides
The History of Luminous Motion Scott Bradfield
Mickelsson's Ghosts John Gardner
City of Glass Paul Auster
The Collector John Fowles
Pillars of the Earth Ken Follett
Rosemary's Baby Ira Levin
The Age of Innocence Edith Wharton
Books I Abandoned
At Swim-Two-Birds Flann O'Brien
Lady Chatterley's Lover D.H. Lawrence
The Counterlife* Philip Roth
Last Call* Tim Powers
maybe more  

* I am probably not going to pick these up again.

I enjoyed greatly almost all of the books I finished, except for The Virgin Suicides, which I thought was over-hyped, and The History of Luminous Motion, which just wasn't very good. Pillars of the Earth also wasn't very good, but I had to read it, because it is my mother's favorite book.

I also read a book by a Canadian Native American author, and it was okay, but I forget the author's name and the title. Hm.

File under DAILY. Posted at 01:06 PM

October 03, 2004
it's my birthday, so happy birthday...

I had to post an entry today just so I could quote "It's My Birthday" by Mission Man in the title. Enjoy!

Today, I woke up, ate bacon and eggs and banana muffins with my mom and brother, installed Windows XP SP2 and Firefox on my mom's computer while my brother and mom had a political argument, chuckled with my dad about the futility of their arguments, went to the Phillies game with my dad (Phils won; my name and age were in lights, but we missed it -- we'd been looking at the stadium's exhibit on Phillies history and lost track of innings), opened gifts (Space Camp DVD from Chris and money from my parents, along with a few other small things), watched a bit of Saboteur with my family but felt sick from the cold mentioned in the previous entry, took a nap, went out to dinner and ate pizza, took the train home and talked with Chris about his life, counted the number of steps from the G train entrance to my apartment (under 100 -- I lost count as I approached the staircase leading to my door, because I was thinking that it was impressively under 100), and then updated my online journal!! Which I am still doing right now!

So. Yeah, having a birthday cold isn't any fun. I was going to post something more detailed, but really I just wanted to share that song. I do want to write down every book I read when I was 25, though. Maybe tomorrow. There are a surprising number of books that I started and didn't finish. Perhaps that says something about what 25 was like.

File under DAILY. Posted at 11:30 PM | Comments (1)

October 01, 2004
october, light

Today is October, and it feels like October, and that seems right.

I have acquired a cold, and that seems annoying, because dude, I barely ever go anywhere these days. How'd this happen?

Chris is enduring the trials of trying to make a life for himself in the real world. The kid deserves a break — he had a nice apartment lined up and one of his roommates bailed on him at the last minute, and he hasn't yet had any luck on the job front. Things are sure to turn around soon. In the meantime, he's collecting some good stories.

I am almost 26. I feel 26; I feel much older than I did in the 24-to-25 transition. My life isn't quite where I want it to be, but I'd like to think it's on the path to being there. My problem, though, is that I feel a need to take care of the people closest to me before I can focus on myself. Maybe it's just a way of procastinating or of avoiding addressing my own issues, but it's real and it feels inescapable. I can devote my resources to a limited number of causes, and everyone else comes first.

I'm not sure when or how this selflessness started, but often I think that it's not as strong or as genuine as it sometimes seems; in truth, my selflessness is driven by a kind of selfishness, in that I want everyone to resolve their problems as quickly as possible so that I can move on to thinking about me. I should indulge my interests more, though, and think about the problems of others less. Going to a movie by myself, for instance, is always surprisingly stimulating, but I almost never do it. What's stopping me?

There is fun to be had as a grown-up, I'm sure, but throughout most of the past year, I've felt burdened by one thing or another. That's how life is for everyone, of course. It's how we view and deal with the burdens that defines our experiences. I'd like to develop a strategy for maintaining a constructive attitude toward everything that happens in my life. Something that can handle any mood swing, that can enable me to assess a situation from more than one perspective. Maybe that will be what 26 will give to me.

File under DAILY. Posted at 10:56 PM | Comments (3)