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« December 2004 | Main | February 2005 »

January 29, 2005
dots for everyone

Andy made another animation. You should watch it because it is good. It's about a minute long, and that's probably about as much time as you have right now to spend on it!

I am going to make him get his own web site soon, because dude, get with the times.

He finished the animation today, and I almost finished my painting, but then I got mad at the painting and sort of messed up part of it, but I will fix it later.

My parents are visiting next weekend and I have to clean a lot so that they can think that I keep a high standard of living. I was planning on doing that today, but all I did was get mad at my painting and then wash my curtains, which proved sort of pointless because they (the curtains) still have water stains on them from summer rainstorms.

Oh, would that it were summer! Would that it were!

File under DAILY. Posted at 06:43 PM | Comments (7)

January 20, 2005
more than you ever had before

I think I use some variation of the word "implement" about three times a day at work, usually in proposals, and occasionally on the phone.

"This phase involves the implementation of the layout design."

"Once we implement the upload feature, I will give you instructions on how to use it. It's really easy!"

"I finally implemented the world!"

Seriously, I finally implemented a new world of photos for everyone. Or at least, I implemented a new PHP thingy that lets me add photos really fast and lets you look at them really fast, or not at all, if you want. You can also comment on the photos, if so inspired. The new photos are available for you in the PHOTOS section. I know you're sick of looking at my pictures, but I just thought that, well, you should know you can look at more of them now.

File under DAILY. Posted at 09:33 AM

January 16, 2005
2004 was a whole year long

Here it is: a photo journal for the ages, starring 2004, me, people I know, my apartment, and a few special guests. I didn't get to include some pictures from the holidays because I left my camera at my parents' house. Otherwise, this is how it all went down. Andy is mentioned a lot, but that was kind of unavoidable. Enjoy!

2004: A Review for You
By Beth
For You
Copyright 2005 Beth Is A Star Productions

File under DAILY. Posted at 09:17 PM | Comments (2)

January 07, 2005

I dreamt last night that I was a member of a theater group. We were getting together for rehearsal in Chicago, but later it turned into Drexel Hill, PA.

When I got off of the el on the way to rehearsal, three guys approached me. They were saying, "Hey, sexy mama!" and "Yo man, check this one out!" and the typical things a certain type of guy says to ladies on the streets.* One of the guys lifted one of my arms up in the air and walked closely behind me. I thought, "I always forget to tell Andy about all the weird things that happen to me when I'm out." I tried to be good-natured about it and act like they were joking around. I said, "Look, this is funny, but I really have to go to rehearsal." The guy holding my arm said, "I think there's been a change of plans." I got scared, but I kept being flirty, and he dropped my arm and said, "Naw, I'm just kidding." Phew!

At the rehearsal, we each were given a bow and arrow and were told to shoot birds out of the sky. One of my friends from grade school, whom I haven't seen in years, was in the cast. A couple of the male cast members were good at shooting birds, and most of the rest of the cast made good attempts that just barely missed.

Before I shot my arrow, I thought it looked easy, but I sensed I was going to mess it up. I was right in my suspicion; my arrow was way off the mark. But no one had looked when I shot it, even though it had seemed they'd been cheering everyone else on at their turn. I told them about my sorry attempt. They told me it didn't really matter, because some of the people were really good at it, so they would have enough birds. They just wanted me to retrieve my arrow so that someone else could use it.

* I learned the other day that catcall doesn't mean "to hoot at an attractive person who is walking past you." It's actually "a loud or raucous cry made especially to express disapproval (as at a sports event)." Also, I should note that no one has ever said, "Yo, check this one out!" to me on the streets.

File under DAILY. Posted at 09:56 AM | Comments (1)

January 02, 2005
it happened to me

Probably the coolest thing about having a web site is getting to go back and look at all the old stuff. While what's here might be glossed with silliness or short on substance, it is often enough to make me remember the sensations of being alive at particular times.

Almost never have I fully shared my thoughts about any subject here. It has always seemed too self-indulgent, too boring, and too difficult for me to bare my soul even to my closest friends, and while the internet might seem anonymous and interested, it is often neither. Writing into the void of the web is similar to talking to a video camera; it assuages loneliness and makes you feel like you're actually doing something. The difference, of course, is that the web is much more visible. Recording things always gives weight to them, because suddenly some thoughts you had one day can potentially exist forever. The more you record, the more it seems you've accomplished. On the internet, the chance that some kindred spirit might happen upon your thoughts is real, and such a possibility just adds another layer of imagined value to what you decide to share.

I didn't really mean to talk about all of this, and I don't have a tidy way of wrapping it up. I think the internet is great, and I'm glad that so many people are writers. I wish sometimes they would write more about what they're actually feeling, but in many cases that would mean thinking more about what they're feeling, and that's harder than it sounds.

My resolutions for this year are the same as they've been since I've gotten out of college: exercise more, write more, read more, volunteer, make more art, and figure out how to invest wisely. The thing is, reading back on all my old New Year's entries, I feel disconnected with all of those selves who wanted the same things I want now. Reading old resolutions feels similar to how I felt as a senior in high school reading freshman-year journal entries, except I'm slightly less embarrassed, because I'm more forgiving. Well, and because the entries simply aren't as embarrassing.

Maybe I should ditch my standard list in favor of fresher goals, but I feel more confident than ever about tackling these things. So. Here we go.

p.s. Don't worry, the year in review is coming, and it will be funnier than this.

File under DAILY. Posted at 05:04 PM | Comments (8)